


The Grieving Widow

by CaptainEverything



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, I swear to give you a happy ending, Romance, Unlike Legends, Which runs on the tears of the Captain Canary fans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 17:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6865600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainEverything/pseuds/CaptainEverything
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's fulfilled many roles over her many attempts at life. Rebel daughter, assassin, bad ass. But this is one role she never wanted to experience or even know the sheer depths of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Grieving Widow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Archer973](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archer973/gifts).



> Well, crap did Destiny hit me in the freakin' heart. Like it KOed me. Leonard better not be dead, like it could be thirty years from now and I'll still be in la la land where Sara and Leonard got married, had kids and Uncle Mick is the biggest softie ever. Also, I'd like to dedicate this to Archer973, whose musing about Captain Canary make me smile. Thank you, very much. Now, have the angst with a bit of a happy ending. I'll leave to crushing our souls like a grape to damn LoT.

She's been kicked down, knocked around and generally used as life's punching bag. The gambit, the pain she put her family through, The League of Assassin's, and how she broke Nyssa's heart, returning just to die again, coming back to fall down again.

She's the first one to admit she's a monster hidden in a pretty face. Feelings which should come natural don't even try to pretend to be there. Numbness, an all compressing numbness has made it's home in her. She can fake a smile for her loved ones, but around strangers they don't expect anything of her.

He didn't either.

His damn smirk, damn low drawl which she swears to herself did not affect her, damn piercing green blue eyes which have walls as high as hers.

Everyone's always said she's had a type; people who live on the wrong side of the tracks and thrive off it. Whether it's a form of rebellion because her dad's a cop and her sister's a lawyer, she's been drawn to darkness since she was little. If it was the wrong choice, well, that's about all she had to know to pick it.

She was attracted to him, not just because he was handsome. Though they both knew it, smug bastard. He could match her in wits, he could predict what she was going to do and vice versa. They worked together like they'd been partners for years, and not just strangers who barely knew each other.

Now knowing about the Octulas, maybe fate was laughing at the hand it drew them.

The numbness that followed her from the pit, he someone fought against it. He's stupid jokes and one liners could make a genuine smirk or smile, and the one time she actually laughed, his eyes lit up in what she might've called victory.

Maybe he really had been trying to make her laugh?

He'll never tell her now.

_"You wanna steal a kiss from me, Leonard? You'd better be one hell of a thief."_

Whatever future he wanted, she wanted it too. Wanted it then and wants it now. She just played hardball, challenged him because she knew he wouldn't back now, and a part of her was waiting expectantly to find out what his next move would be.

She cursed herself a hundred times over, isn't this what she had warned Oliver from?

Regrets are nothing new, but this time hurts deeper than it's ever been.

When she pulled back from there first and last kiss-and what she wouldn't do to try again, to take all those stolen moments and make it worth more than heated glances and promise filled words.- In his eyes, shining with unshed tears for the future they'll never know, she could have sworn she was love in them.

She hoped he saw the same in hers.

After they had gotten back to the bridge, and once the silence got to heavy she ran as fast as she could to her room to see the deck of cards mocking her. Laying down on her bed, right where he left them, before he had to go and play the hero.

Damn man had to choose now to play the hero.

She broke, she fell down and gasped out sobs and prayed when she woke up that this would all be a horrible dream and Leonard would waltz right into her room like he owned it.

She woke up hours later, curled up in the fetal position with the same aching numbness that he helped erased gripping her tighter than before.

And he was still dead.

\-----------------------------

She's been holed up in her room for hours, having to wait until Gideon felt like making any time jump. She doesn't want to come out, doesn't want to do anything but mourn a lifetime of missed opportunities and useless diversions because she was scared. So she's screamed at Ray and Jax to leave her alone, psychically fought Rip (and wouldn't he be so proud to know she's done busted up there captain's face) to keep him from dragging her out, and ignored Stein out right.

"Blondie, open up."

She's never heard Mick sound so defeated, so somber. No matter the problems he and Leonard had, she knew the bond they shared was tighter than what time and ill advised decisions could affect. With a sniffle she tried to hide, she bade Gideon to open her door.

The sight Mick was greeted to was her wrapped in the jacket Leonard gave her to help starve off hypothermia, holding onto a deck of cards for dear life, with red eyes from the tears she decided to unleash.

Without a word Mick opens his arms and allows her to fall into him. The two sharing the grief of a man who tried so hard to hide who he was, who was a better man than even he knew.

Mick pulls out a silver chain, attached to it is Leonard's ring, the one he kept on his pinkie. 

Instantly she knows what he's going to do.

"Mick, no." Because she's only known him five months, Mick's known him since childhood. Leonard would want Mick to keep it.

She doesn't got much strength left to fight as he places it around her neck.

"Trust me, he'd want you to have it. He also wanted to give you one to wear for the rest of your life's."

She should be surprised about that, but really she's not. The future he wanted with both of them is on some sick loop in her head and it won't leave.

\-------------------------------

She falls asleep eventually. She dreams she's in bed and Leonard in her bed too. He's tugging on a lock of hair just to annoy her. And she is annoyed, but she's sort of also in love, so really all she manages to do is pout at him and swat useless at his hands, as he chuckles at her.

He lets go of her hair and grips her chin softly. Leaning down to kiss her and there's nothing bittersweet about it. It's soft and loving and there's a burning passion hidden in it which lets her know where this is going.

She wakes up with nothing but his jacket to comfort her and fresh tears to swallow.

\-----------------------------------

She's not sure when she starts hallucinating him. But sometimes she swears she sees him leaning against the hallway wall. Lounging in his favorite chair. Sitting in her bed.

She's tells him he's not real.

He shrugs in agreement.

\-----------------------------------

Soon she starts talking to him. He doesn't talk back and she can't touch him, but it helps to talk to her imagination. Because even if the shade of blue isn't right, even if his smirk is a little off, it's him from how she will always remember him. 

Jax walks by when she's having a conversation with him about where they would've settled down.

She was actually looking forward to seeing Central City through his eyes.

Jax is looking at her like she's crazy, but one good glare and he's off running.

She turns back to look at him and her inner ghost is gone.

\----------------------------------------

She's working out on the salmon ladder when Mick finds her.

"So, who've you been talking to."

Jax must've snitched on her.

Beside Mick, her own personal hallucination is standing beside him. Watching her the kind of interest Leonard would give her.

"No one." She grunts climbing all the way to the top. Feeling no accomplishment from the act.

Mick shakes his head like he doesn't believe her, and she doesn't blame him really.

"Alright, how many people are in the room?"

Her imaginary Leonard arches an eyebrow as in a challenge.

She gives Mick an empty smile, "just you and me."

He doesn't believe her but lets her get away with it this time. When he leaves, Leonard is gone too.

Maybe he's off to haunt Mick for a while.

\-------------------------------------

They eventually arrive back in 2016, determined to kill Savage once and for all. Nothing matters but the urge to avenge him. He deserves that. He deserves so much more than what he got.

Kendra finally strikes the killing blow and with baited breath she hopes to see Leonard running from the Waverider, complaining how they didn't let him get a hit in. It's dark when Mick guides her away, her hopes faded to distant hum. Beside her on the side Mick isn't on, Leonard is there only in her mind still.

She reaches for his hand with one hand, while the other grips the ring around her neck like a lifeline.

\--------------------------------------

She boards a train for Star City, unsure if she wants to continue traveling through time without her partner, the one she knew without a doubt would keep on eye on her eye, like she would his.

Mick says he'll tell Lisa, and she promises to come back and meet her.

But she can't right now, the wounds are too fresh right now.

On the train ride there, some people try to take the seat next to her. She tells them it's taken.

Only she can see her passenger looking lazily out the window.

\---------------------------------------

If she thought her world couldn't get bleaker, couldn't get darker. The news awaiting her return home confirms it.

Someone hates her and takes it out on the people closet to her.

She's staring at a headstone which mocks her just as much as the deck of cards in her pocket, the jacket she refuses to take off and the ring around her neck.

If she had stayed, Laurel wouldn't be dead, she knows it. A life for a life, Laurel gave her back hers, the world evened the scales by taking hers.

She lets out a harsh sob that may be a scream and falls to the dirt floor. Allowing more tears to fall (shouldn't she be out of them by now?) horrendous sobs wracking her body. She denied her father to come with her, unable to make him come back and relive the pain which must still feel fresh to him. She thinks she passes out from a combination of shock and grief. She thinks she feels his arms wrap around her. Dimly she thinks her hallucination as gotten real enough to touch before she passes out.


End file.
